Service with a Scowl

Welcome aboard your super-VIP express sleeper bus direct from Vientiane to Hanoi!   Our journey time today will be approximately 22 hours, but could raise to 26 hours if you're lucky.  As you can see, you have been provided with a beautiful coffin-like sleeper cot, which will fit you perfectly assuming you are no taller than 5ft 2inches and have no desire to turn over during the night.

You will be joined on the bus by a number of other westerners, many of whom will have been drinking for the previous 72 hours and will be cracking open a new beer at 7am and then moving onto the gin or vodka around 10am.  We will also be joined by some local people, traveling for cheap on the back of the over-priced ticket you just purchased from the guest house.  In order to get better acquainted with the locals, we will be placing them not in the seats built into the bus, but rather on mats along the aisles, fit snuggly between you and the bunk next to you.

Only when you wake up in the middle of the night, realising it is not the a/c blowing on your neck, but instead the breath of your new BVFF (Best Vietnamese Friend Forever)  will you fully be able to say you have truly gotten to know the local people.  Concerned that the sleepers in the aisle will stop you getting to the onboard toilet?  Dont worry, the auto flush feature will be broken within 5 minutes of our departure anyway, making it abundently clear to all that a manual flush should always come as standard.

Our journey will take us east from Vientiane, through the mountains of Laos, arriving close to the border at 1.30am.  Now, of course the border does not open until 7am, but we set off from Vientiane early so you will be able to enjoy even more time aboard your luxurious sleeper bunk!   Being an environmentally conscious company, we will of course be turning off the engine, and therefore the air conditioning, for the duration of this 6 hour stop, as well as at whim throughout the journey.  Similarly, those lovely little individual reading lights above your head will also be disconnected for the duration of the journey.  We like to do our bit for the planet too.  


We trust you will enjoy your journey with us.  Should you have any problems or questions throughout the journey, please do not hesitate to contact one of our onboard representatives or your driver (during one of his regular 20 minute cigarette breaks) who will be happy to shout at you in incoherent broken Vietnamese/English with a huge scowl on his face.   "Service with a Scowl"  has been our motto for over 10 years.  

So, for now, please just lay back and enjoy the next 24 hours of sheer VIP-bliss.  That should give you plenty of time to contemplate why the hell you didnt splash out for the 3 hour flight instead.  Enjoy!